So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
