I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She's the barista slut.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
