youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize