Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
