I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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