Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
