Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
