How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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