I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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