there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
