She said her name was "party"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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