Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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