either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
