i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
