My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
