Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
