4 words: hood of his car
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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