You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
and she was petting her beer can
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
