She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
