i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
