Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
