last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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