i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When are your genitals available?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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