Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
