Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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