I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
