What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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