Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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