I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My dick has a subreddit
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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