hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Randomize
