But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
