Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
