How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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