They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
