I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
a search helicopter?!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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