Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
