I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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