We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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