I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
