Who did Billy Mays play for?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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