everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
