I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
