whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Randomize
