God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
