He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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