tell your sister to shave her snatch
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
