I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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