You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
