i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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