come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
