Kiss
Puke
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
