are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
